Nemo's Carrot Cake

I know, I know, we don’t normally taste things outside of the cheese Danish realm, but I was hungry, and the Generalissimo took the only cheese Danish we found at the Chevron station. And as he isn’t one to share, I took what I could find.

I love carrot cake. When done right, it can be a religious experience. My grandmother, for example, could open the megachurch dedicated to carrot cake. Duncan Hines and Betty Crocker might be able to open a local parish of some sort by comparison.

Nemo’s...they might be that guy on the street corner, ranting about the coming apocalypse while scaring away all the tourists. It’s not that Nemo’s heart is in the wrong place, just that they didn’t put it into this cake.

The bread is plenty moist; possibly the moistest I’ve ever come across. The bits of carrot and walnut are very tiny, almost to the point where they blend fully into the rest of the bread. The flavor’s okay, but I’m not going to call and ask for the recipe.

The frosting is the one bright spot here. As carrot cake uses cream cheese frosting, I figured we could give them a chance to prove themselves. And this frosting doesn’t disappoint. Much. The volume is good, the texture is fine, and the sweetness is more than adequate, but it’s missing the tartness that you expect in something like this. Where’s the lemon zest? Where’s the cinnamon?

I tried to get the sunglassed one to take a bite, but he growled, said something unkind about my hair, and got back to driving faster than the cop chasing us thought to be prudent.

So, you’ll just have to live with my evaluation. And my grade.
C+